When Ouran Meets Sweeney
by CascadeAngel
Summary: The twins terrorize Honey on a day that's completely Sweeney Todd themed.  It's better than it sounds, really.
1. Chapter 1

The host club was sitting together for a meeting when Tamaki stood up, "I have a wonderful idea! The theme for our next meeting will be Sweeney Todd!" Haruhi glanced at him; she was used to him being an idiot. The twins chorused, "Fine with us." while Kyouya gave a nod of assent. Mori didn't seem to care, like always. Honey snuggled Usa-chan closer, "Tama-chan, won't that be too scary?" Tamaki looked slightly surprised; he'd been on cloud nine with his fantasies and hadn't expected anyone to object. "Honey-senpai we wouldn't make it gory! That would be outrageous!" "And out of budget." Kyouya chimed in. The twins grinned evilly, looking at each other and then at their new toy. Honey, oblivious to Hikaru and Kaoru, smiled and hugged his stuffed bunny, relieved.

The next day…

The club was making the usual pre-meeting ruckus. Tamaki was trying to get Haruhi to wear a large puffy dress, insisting she play Joanna while he played Sweeney. The twins were tormenting the king by saying, "If Haruhi's Joanna then we'll be Antony!" then loudly sang the part about stealing her. Mori was already in his costume, Pirelli, and was helping his tiny cousin into his own, predictably Toby. Kyouya sat in the corner typing, occasionally glaring up at the other hosts. Honey bounced over to the Shadow King, "Kyo-chan, who are you supposed to be?" He glared, annoyed, at the senior, "The judge." Mitzkuni paled, "Why are you the bad guy?" "Because I am a bad guy." And he returned to typing. Honey ran back to Mori and clung to him. The twins saw this and had an idea. Operation Terrify Honey-senpai was about to begin.


	2. Chapter 2

"Welcome!" The guests flooded into the third music room. The girls were thrilled by the new type of theme. Halfway through Haruhi got sick and went home, but Honey didn't know this. The twins saw their opportunity, "Hey senpai," Hikaru said, walking towards him with his twin, "where's Haruhi?" Kaoru finished. The boy looked up in confusion, "I thought Haru-chan was here." "Well she's gone now!" the twins said, perfectly synchronized. Just then a big batch of freshly baked meat pies that Tamaki had ordered arrived. The twins couldn't have been better. They marched over and plucked three pies off the tray. "Here senpai," they practically sang, "eat up!" Hikaru tossed him a pie then joined his twin in devouring their own. Honey caught it and stared at his underclassmen. "Blah! It's really tough and bland!" Kaoru complained. "Kinda like a commoner!" Hikaru declared. They laughed and wandered back to their waiting guests. Tears welled up in Honey's eyes. "You guys are so mean!" he whimpered. Hikaru and Kaoru watched from across the room as the senior started bawling. Takashi glared at them and patted his cousin on the head. Their scheme was working perfectly.


	3. Chapter 3

Despite Kyouya's threats Tamaki had still gone overboard, so much so that he didn't notice when the Hitachiin brothers took a set of knives from the table beside him. He has more, they thought, he won't miss this one. Sadly they were right. Hikaru and Kaoru were showing off their mastery of the knives to the love-struck girls at their table. The older twin held a blade and turned to Honey, "Hey senpai, watch this!" He made a lot of overdramatic motions and at some point rubbed red ink on the dull side of the blade. He tossed the knife with superb accuracy so that the dull side skimmed across his twin's neck. Kaoru whirled dramatically and screamed bloody murder. He clutched his throat while squeezing a bag of red ink so that the "blood" would seep through his fingers and down his neck. All the spectators knew they were acting, that is, except for Honey. He started to weep again, causing some of the girls to break their concentration on the twins to comfort him. He cried harder when Kaoru stood up and displayed to everyone that he was fine. Why were the twins doing this? He knew they liked to tease people, but why him? He cuddled up to his cousin and continued to sob. Kyouya told the twins to knock it off. Like they'd ever listen to him.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey senpai!" Mitzkuni winced when he heard the twins call to him. They'd been terrorizing him nonstop and he couldn't wait for the meeting to be over. The brothers stood behind him, one on each side. "We were wondering something and hoped you could help us." the one on the left said. They boy responded, "What is it?" and immediately regretted it. "How do you think you would taste baked into a meat pie?" the one on the right questioned. Honey hoped answering would make them go away, "Um, really sweet." It didn't work. "We thought so too." the left replied. "What about Kyouya?" the right asked. "Stop it!" the senior wailed. The twins cracked up, "Haha, you have a soft spot for Kyouya senpai!" And speak of the devil Kyouya walked over and hissed, "You two are ruining today's business. Keep it up and you'll rue the day you were born." He stalked off hissing more menacing threats. The twins leaned over the back of Honey's chair and whispered simultaneously, "What about Tono? Or Mori? Or Haruhi?" They grinned mischievously, "Or maybe even us?" With the only ounce of defiance he had Honey blurted out, "You guys would taste terrible!" Hikaru and Kaoru laughed and walked, arm in arm, away from the tortured senior. What did they care if he was emotionally scarred?


	5. Chapter 5

It's over, it's over, thank God it's over. That's all Honey could think. He changed out of his costume and back into his school uniform. He grabbed his backpack and was going to meet Mori in the hall but he was too late, the twins grabbed him before he could escape. "Senpai we have to show you something!" they said, faking innocence. Before he could respond they dragged him out of the door and down the hall. They stopped at a door marked "Furnace Room" and Hikaru pulled out a key and jabbed it into the lock. He couldn't turn it, he never got the chance. That's because Honey lost it and went ballistic with his martial arts. He kicked their butts senseless then fled back to the safety of the third music room. He slowly came to understand that they were pranking him and eventually forgave them. But to this day he will never eat a meat pie, go to a barber, or set foot in a furnace room. So thank you, Hitachiin brothers, thank you for permanently scarring poor Honey.


End file.
